When Lily was a little girl, having only one child, I was so much more intentional with the time that I spent with her. We spent time doing crafts, reading, making music and learning. I literally had "intentional time with Lily" scheduled into my "to do lists".
Then, six years later came my sweet & spicy little man, Zion. Life was just so much busier and my time became divided. Zion is so much more independent and will play by himself for extended periods of time. I found those times as an opportunity to get things done and took every chance I could to fold a load of laundry, catch up on emails or even honestly browse Facebook on my phone:( Here is the honest and painful confession.... as Zion has gotten older he is more interested in including me in his playtime and I have gotten so used to the uninterrupted time that he plays independently that I almost resent his requests for attention. "Ouch and Ugh", I know...parent of the year right?
One of my favorite lines Rachel writes in her blog is "the truth hurts and the truth heals....and brings me back to the parent I want to be." I believe it is God's Grace that my brother Michael shared her blog on Facebook that day http://www.handsfreemama.com/2013/09/ It caused me to face the truth as much as it hurt and realize it was time for a change!
So now I am trying, not perfect by any stretch, but trying. Today Zion asked to go for a bike ride on the greenbelt. I looked at my "to-do list", took a deep breath and said..."Absolutely son, let's go!"
My little self proclaimed, "Soldier in God's army" and I fought bad guys & dragons (AKA trees), Giants (AKA telephone towers) and even stopped to pick "wishers"! We laughed and ran and had the most amazing time!
I had the time of my life
Fighting dragons with you" -Taylor Swift "Long Live"
God is good and so gentle with me. I am so grateful for His Grace and that He provides little reminders along my journey:) Thank you Rachel, www.handsfreemama.com for speaking truth and helping bring me back to the "parent I want to be."