Thursday, December 20, 2012

I thought we'd make it one more year...

Tonight as Lily and I snuggled in bed to read our Christmas books I looked over and saw tears welled up in her eyes.  "Mom", kids at school keep making fun of me because I still believe in Santa Claus."  "They keep saying that it's just my parents, IS THAT TRUE?"...

The moment had come.  The moment any parent that chooses to celebrate the tradition of Santa expects to eventually confront.  Mine was  tonight....and I am very sad:(

Last year she asked a couple leading questions, however, with some creativity we were able to pull it off for one more year.  Tonight I knew that was not going to be possible.  It was time...

I think my initial silence was enough.  I think in her "heart of hearts" she knew what was coming. Tears streamed down her beautiful round cheeks.  I got a book out of our book basket that told the story of Saint Nicholas and read it to her.  As I read I also prayed that God would give me the words to explain it in a way that she could understand and that would comfort her in her disappointment.  He did and the conversation we had actually went far better than I had imagined it would.

It is unfortunate that it is only days before Christmas and that the conversation could not have waited just one more year.  But for whatever reason tonight was the night.

Even as I write this I am struck by the overwhelming sense of gratitude.  As sad as that conversation was to have I am grateful for each day and each conversation I am given with my Lily girl.  My heart aches for the parents, families and children in Connecticut  that are having very different and much more difficult conversations during this holiday season.

So I will choose to remember and cherish our conversation tonight as a gift.  Another day with my precious children, another Christmas to celebrate together as a family.  God is so good and I am grateful.
 Lily at Disneyland with Santa just a few days ago!

1 comment:

Dawn said...

Oh. So bittersweet. Tyson and I were talking the other day about how sharing the story of St. Nicholas can take the edge off the sadness of losing Santa. Glad you have your sweet girl. We miss you guys. Hopefully we can connect in the new year. Merry Christmas, Dawn and Tyson.